one life, one chance...

holly cow, i dont even no were to start... ok well, my moms husband (my stepdad) is sick.. he's been sick for several years though it has just resently hit him full on.. him and i havent been really close sence i was like 10 ish...? and my life sence, could fill every episode of "Opah"..lol though its nothing to brag about.. i mean these days who doesnt come from a broken family? well with this upon us i desided to write him a letter.. i think it may have been a little harsh though i believe it may have been nesessary... it took me forever to write it.. its so hard to write ur lifetime of emotions and thoughts and things that hurt u in just one letter... but i did!!! im not too sure how i feel about opening up like that im really not one to talk about how i feel, i tend to just bottle things up and leave them there to simmer.. but im tryin this new thing were i take my emotions into count cause i cant begin to tell u how hard it is on ur self and unhealthy it is to bottle everything up... and its a little scary and i feel a little vonerable but i can except that eventually and learn to maybe be a better person because of it!!! i dont know that i could ever forget the things that happened, but im willing to forgive...it deffinatly wont be easy and it will take alot of hard work.. ALOT.. but im willing to try!!!



ok and now for the second man in my life!!! Kenny... were do i start with that..lol his and my relationship has been complicated for about a year now... and we moved to colorado to start over, which i thought was a great idea, we could both get away from our outside influences and relearn each other... and just recently things suddenly got really hard between us.. i think we both got really sick of the games... so he put his foot down and so did i and after a couple days we talked and worked things out!!! this was a couple weeks ago, and now im realizing how happy im becoming!!! the only thing i could wish for is for our outside influences to see it, except it, and just be happy that im happy i mean what more could u ask for, for some one u love?