10 weeks!!!! 187 heart beats!!! and 7cm!!! the first time i got to see my baby!!!!

its crazy, being pregnant. Iv known i was pregnant since June 17th, and even though i new, it still felt like it was all so surreal. you don't feel the baby inside you and you just have to realize the fact that everything from that moment on will never be the same.. and its allot to try to grasp. though it did explain the queasy sickness feeling i had from the week before and am still experiencing. i am fortunate enough to have not had any morning sickness!!!! Though I'm still trying to figure out what food works and doesn't..lol so far i really like fruit and brockly and BBQ sauce along with mac and cheese with tuna and peas..lol and if you'v never tried it i highly recommend it(my mom used to cook it when i was way younger)

when you find out your pregnant not only does your perspective of life change but so do u and not just physically..lol but emotionally as well. things that once mattered don't and dreams that you once wished for, you no longer see coming any closer. life becomes a new book not chapter or page but a hole new book. like a squall, and its not that your sad that certain things are gone. its just that you wake up and your dreams have changed. and some how you know these dreams are better!!!

Expecting!!!!

well... im pregnant!!!! suprise!!! im due Feb 17th 2010!!! i no wow, right? though it wasnt planed i am actually excited now that its really hit me...lol!!! Kenny hopes its a boy of course and i hope its a girl!!!.. but hey i guess we'll find out!! i'll keep u posted!!

cheyenne mountain zoo!!!

so even though we have lived here for 6mnths.. we havent really had a chance to enjoy the suroundings. so i googled co springs and now we have a list af things to do!!! so we hit the zoo!! which was soo much fun i havent been to a good zoo in forever!! it was a blast and a really good exercise..lol the zoo was at the bottom of the mountain and there was a tower, castly thing at the top that we drove up to after the zoo and it was Will Rogers shrine.. it was so nice up there u could see the hole city!!! it was a great day!!!!

this is a beever... u cant tell...lol

these r monkeys that look like scunks..lol

and i have no idea what happened to this pic...?

one life, one chance...

holly cow, i dont even no were to start... ok well, my moms husband (my stepdad) is sick.. he's been sick for several years though it has just resently hit him full on.. him and i havent been really close sence i was like 10 ish...? and my life sence, could fill every episode of "Opah"..lol though its nothing to brag about.. i mean these days who doesnt come from a broken family? well with this upon us i desided to write him a letter.. i think it may have been a little harsh though i believe it may have been nesessary... it took me forever to write it.. its so hard to write ur lifetime of emotions and thoughts and things that hurt u in just one letter... but i did!!! im not too sure how i feel about opening up like that im really not one to talk about how i feel, i tend to just bottle things up and leave them there to simmer.. but im tryin this new thing were i take my emotions into count cause i cant begin to tell u how hard it is on ur self and unhealthy it is to bottle everything up... and its a little scary and i feel a little vonerable but i can except that eventually and learn to maybe be a better person because of it!!! i dont know that i could ever forget the things that happened, but im willing to forgive...it deffinatly wont be easy and it will take alot of hard work.. ALOT.. but im willing to try!!!



ok and now for the second man in my life!!! Kenny... were do i start with that..lol his and my relationship has been complicated for about a year now... and we moved to colorado to start over, which i thought was a great idea, we could both get away from our outside influences and relearn each other... and just recently things suddenly got really hard between us.. i think we both got really sick of the games... so he put his foot down and so did i and after a couple days we talked and worked things out!!! this was a couple weeks ago, and now im realizing how happy im becoming!!! the only thing i could wish for is for our outside influences to see it, except it, and just be happy that im happy i mean what more could u ask for, for some one u love?

hi.. ok so i no i havent droped in inawhile, so i thought i would catch ya'll up on my life for the last couple weeks... so first off, i went and got my hair done at my aunts saloon in Denver, were she was training a new girl. so she called me to be a model, (so i could basically get my hair done for free, and who wouldnt..) when i walked in there my hair was past my bra strap on my back and i new i needed at least 2" cute off.. which i was fine with.. cause im trieing to grow my hair out.. i just like it better long.. after 3 hours of then foiling it to point that i could have picked up H.B.O...lol i really liked the way the color turned out.. though in the middle of the new girl cuting it the way i asked my aunt came over picked up a chunk of my hair and cute off 5"... i was soooo mad, i didnt cause a seen cause im just not like that but the less i was very unhappy...Grrrrrr.

that weekend i went grociery shopping and in the middle of the store they had a giant bunny made out of coca cola and diet coca cola boxes...loved it and i just had to share it!!!!

ok and i am completely broke.. which sucks cause i quit my job and havent found a new one yet..lame.. but i had a few extra bucks left and just felt like i really needed to get out, so i called a few friends and we all descided to go bowling.. which was sooo much fun, oh and how lucky am i that we didi on "lady's night"..lol so everything was half off!!!

our champagne and chocolate covered strawberries!!

dinner table (sooo cute)

The Radisson castle in denver were we stayed!!!!

heres the view!!!

just one more, so u can wish u were there

so now that im finally settled in colorado my roommate and i desided to go on a hike at Garden of the Gods. its such an amazingly beautiful place. these really cool red rock came up out of the ground and are so random.. so we climed to the top of one. it was one of the smaller ones but still a little too high up. once we got up there i was a little nervous...lol