been in jackson for a week...

its been a long week.. iv been working at teds office which is good cause i really could use the money, but we still arnt on great terms... i did get to make baby a snow outfit!!!! it was allot of fun i think i might start doin it more often!!! and it snowed here yay!!!

going home!!!!!!!!!!

this week i am cleaning my hole house and remodeling my bathroom!!! and then leaving for jackson on sat!!! i will be their for 3 weeks.. thats a little long but my dad is letting me work for him while im down their which is good cause i could use the money!!!! and kenny will be remodeling my moms house the hole time and has dead line of a list thats longer then WWII..lol cause my mom is doing my baby shower on the 5th of dec at her house!!! poor guy... but i am really excited to go home for a little.. its nice to get a good dose of ur family so that u dont miss them as much when u leave..lol

so much for Fall.. =-(

so my favorite season has come and gone and i didnt even get to enjoy it.. by the time all the woods changed color into the deep reds and oranges and that Fall breeze had that amazing sent.. Jack Frost came after only two nights of this blissfull time and he laughed in my face.. now the only time i like this man is during x-mas when its snowed alot, and he frosts over the top of the snow so everything looks like it sparkles, like in a snow globe.. thats about the only time i thank him... but his behavior for this will not be forgiven.. (lol) he he

i love my brother

so dillon and i are very close and he is going to make some girl really happy... while i was in jackson dillon waited on me hand and foot.. it was soo cute. him and i have always been night owls and now with me being prego and really starting to show, it doesnt matter how tierd i am i just cant seem to get comfterable.. so he would stay up in the living room with me till i fell asleep then he would turn off the tv and the lights and go to sleep himself, in the process it doesnt matter how much i eat in asetting im still hungery like an hour1/2 latter.. so he would make me mac'n'cheese at like midnight..lol(baby craves it) so when i do eat i try to eat smaller portions.. which seems to be getting harder and harder.. and by the time i left jackson dillon said he doesnt wanna eat any more mac'n'cheese..lol











now dillon is a big boy.. he's 14 and like 5'10" and 204lb.. which is weird cause when u think of a little brother u kinda always expect him to stay "little".. but noooo, they soon get bigger then u and u cant give them as hard a time as u used to cause now they can throw u over their shoulder..lol dillon has always been really good at sports.. so this yr he tried out for high school football and got full back on off fence and nose on defence!!!.. so the last day i was in town it was homecoming.. and dillon a freshman got asked to play varsity with the other seniors!!! so cool just thought i had to brag!!! and we slottered them 58 to 12!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!

its my baby GIRL!!!! i was soo excited when i new exactly what baby was!! i feel like i can really bond with her now.. i was always calling her baby.. cause it sounded weird to call something so precouse to me an it.. so now i feel like everything is actually real.. kenny and i already registered at Babies.R.us which was fun at first till i realized how much i actually need..aww talk about stress..lol any who, i plan on sending out invites to the baby shower here soon i plan on having it after the hollidays.. around the end of jan early feb...? not sure.. part of me thinks that
may be too close to when i pop but it also seems far enough after the holidays..? ( might need some advice on that one...)

Things work in odd ways

So my mom comes down to the springs on for a week to visit and her car breaks down so poor Kenny has to spend the week fixing the suburban and my mom has to be to work that Monday, so when it came time for her to leave town her car still isn't done.. she decides to kidnap me to take her back up to Jackson.. now the only reason i went was because she called Ted and asked if he could hire me for a few weeks while i was their.. and to my surprise he said yes.. now i already talked about the letters Ted and i sent back and forth to try to mend things.. so i was a little worried about working for him for a couple weeks.. and on top of that he doesn't approve of me having a baby.. not just that I'm too young but also who its with.. now him and i arnt very close so its not like i need his approval but its always nice to have any family members support u even when you'r in the wrong.. but I'm not sad or upset about this baby I'm excited and i no its gonna be allot of work and frustrating and everything under the sun.. but i cant explain how great its going to be to be able to love someone so completely and no that no matter what they need u just as bad as you do them!!! but now that iv been here for two weeks it makes me feel like it all happened for a reason and it was so great to get to know him allover again and be able to rebuild that relationship. i feel like iv accomplished getting this life time of depression and bad memories off my chest!!! and i cant explain how fulfilled i feel.. now don't get me wrong, we arnt all buddy buddy yet and that will still take allot of work to get their but after all this it just seems to make it easier!!!

10 weeks!!!! 187 heart beats!!! and 7cm!!! the first time i got to see my baby!!!!

its crazy, being pregnant. Iv known i was pregnant since June 17th, and even though i new, it still felt like it was all so surreal. you don't feel the baby inside you and you just have to realize the fact that everything from that moment on will never be the same.. and its allot to try to grasp. though it did explain the queasy sickness feeling i had from the week before and am still experiencing. i am fortunate enough to have not had any morning sickness!!!! Though I'm still trying to figure out what food works and doesn't..lol so far i really like fruit and brockly and BBQ sauce along with mac and cheese with tuna and peas..lol and if you'v never tried it i highly recommend it(my mom used to cook it when i was way younger)

when you find out your pregnant not only does your perspective of life change but so do u and not just physically..lol but emotionally as well. things that once mattered don't and dreams that you once wished for, you no longer see coming any closer. life becomes a new book not chapter or page but a hole new book. like a squall, and its not that your sad that certain things are gone. its just that you wake up and your dreams have changed. and some how you know these dreams are better!!!

Expecting!!!!

well... im pregnant!!!! suprise!!! im due Feb 17th 2010!!! i no wow, right? though it wasnt planed i am actually excited now that its really hit me...lol!!! Kenny hopes its a boy of course and i hope its a girl!!!.. but hey i guess we'll find out!! i'll keep u posted!!

cheyenne mountain zoo!!!

so even though we have lived here for 6mnths.. we havent really had a chance to enjoy the suroundings. so i googled co springs and now we have a list af things to do!!! so we hit the zoo!! which was soo much fun i havent been to a good zoo in forever!! it was a blast and a really good exercise..lol the zoo was at the bottom of the mountain and there was a tower, castly thing at the top that we drove up to after the zoo and it was Will Rogers shrine.. it was so nice up there u could see the hole city!!! it was a great day!!!!

this is a beever... u cant tell...lol

these r monkeys that look like scunks..lol

and i have no idea what happened to this pic...?

one life, one chance...

holly cow, i dont even no were to start... ok well, my moms husband (my stepdad) is sick.. he's been sick for several years though it has just resently hit him full on.. him and i havent been really close sence i was like 10 ish...? and my life sence, could fill every episode of "Opah"..lol though its nothing to brag about.. i mean these days who doesnt come from a broken family? well with this upon us i desided to write him a letter.. i think it may have been a little harsh though i believe it may have been nesessary... it took me forever to write it.. its so hard to write ur lifetime of emotions and thoughts and things that hurt u in just one letter... but i did!!! im not too sure how i feel about opening up like that im really not one to talk about how i feel, i tend to just bottle things up and leave them there to simmer.. but im tryin this new thing were i take my emotions into count cause i cant begin to tell u how hard it is on ur self and unhealthy it is to bottle everything up... and its a little scary and i feel a little vonerable but i can except that eventually and learn to maybe be a better person because of it!!! i dont know that i could ever forget the things that happened, but im willing to forgive...it deffinatly wont be easy and it will take alot of hard work.. ALOT.. but im willing to try!!!



ok and now for the second man in my life!!! Kenny... were do i start with that..lol his and my relationship has been complicated for about a year now... and we moved to colorado to start over, which i thought was a great idea, we could both get away from our outside influences and relearn each other... and just recently things suddenly got really hard between us.. i think we both got really sick of the games... so he put his foot down and so did i and after a couple days we talked and worked things out!!! this was a couple weeks ago, and now im realizing how happy im becoming!!! the only thing i could wish for is for our outside influences to see it, except it, and just be happy that im happy i mean what more could u ask for, for some one u love?

hi.. ok so i no i havent droped in inawhile, so i thought i would catch ya'll up on my life for the last couple weeks... so first off, i went and got my hair done at my aunts saloon in Denver, were she was training a new girl. so she called me to be a model, (so i could basically get my hair done for free, and who wouldnt..) when i walked in there my hair was past my bra strap on my back and i new i needed at least 2" cute off.. which i was fine with.. cause im trieing to grow my hair out.. i just like it better long.. after 3 hours of then foiling it to point that i could have picked up H.B.O...lol i really liked the way the color turned out.. though in the middle of the new girl cuting it the way i asked my aunt came over picked up a chunk of my hair and cute off 5"... i was soooo mad, i didnt cause a seen cause im just not like that but the less i was very unhappy...Grrrrrr.

that weekend i went grociery shopping and in the middle of the store they had a giant bunny made out of coca cola and diet coca cola boxes...loved it and i just had to share it!!!!

ok and i am completely broke.. which sucks cause i quit my job and havent found a new one yet..lame.. but i had a few extra bucks left and just felt like i really needed to get out, so i called a few friends and we all descided to go bowling.. which was sooo much fun, oh and how lucky am i that we didi on "lady's night"..lol so everything was half off!!!

our champagne and chocolate covered strawberries!!

dinner table (sooo cute)

The Radisson castle in denver were we stayed!!!!

heres the view!!!

just one more, so u can wish u were there

so now that im finally settled in colorado my roommate and i desided to go on a hike at Garden of the Gods. its such an amazingly beautiful place. these really cool red rock came up out of the ground and are so random.. so we climed to the top of one. it was one of the smaller ones but still a little too high up. once we got up there i was a little nervous...lol

My Puppy!! (goober)

My Life So Far..

My mom (Dianne) had me on October 5Th 1987 in Colorado springs. soon after we moved to Jackson Hole Wyoming. were i grew up for the next 19 years. she had my brother (Dillon) April 1st 1995. through the difficult times we have had are ups and downs but through it all we have grown really close even though it took allot of learning on all are parts. she has raised us to be independent out spoken. shes a very strong women and i praise her for that!!! This is not my first time living here in the springs i lived here for 1/2 a year back in 2006 and was going to school for cosmotology.. i finished half of school befor i became a beauty school drop out..lol mainly be cause i hated the school.. i mean who pays 13,000 to go to a school that suspends you for wearing white sox? so i moved to Idaho falls for a year planing to go back to school were i did for a month and left because i was teaching the teachers...? so now here i am.. back in the springs hoping to go back to school when i get the money..lol My dream is to become an actress!!! so i always thought cosmotology would be a great way to get my foot in the door some day...? we'll see!!!